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hey, anxious guy here. can i have some tips on handling anxiety before joining mumble?

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#1 kayd



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Posted 22 March 2018 - 03:57 PM

                     not many know of me because i like to keep quiet, before i started playing tf2 i was diagnosed with  GAD (generalized anxiety disorder for those who dont know,) and i found that playing this game itself kept me calm for whatever reason, its become my outlet and ive also met amazing people through it, even the love of my life. while i havent 100% gotten complete control over it, i still let it get in the way of actually joining mumble servers (im an ftm trans guy, pre everything. so my voice is slightly higher and i fear people will question it, bc of things that have happened in the past in situations like this)


i do want to be able to use mumble without a fear but its just a roadblock.

                       i also want to play competitively, i adore this game so  so much and i want to do something with it, but i know if i keep letting this damn disorder get in the way i wont get anywhere


so, any tips?



#2 Juliana



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Posted 22 July 2018 - 01:40 AM

Hope there aren't any necrobumping rules around here, this thread in particular caught my attention. Your last activity was in march but, oh well, there might be other people out there that could use this.

First of all, I'm gonna start apologizing if these tips end up not helping at all. I was also diagnosed with GAD, been there, but the way that I deal with it might not be the one best suited for you, vice and versa.

What I usually do is take a deep breath and try to keep close attention to my thoughts, doesn't matter the situation. You might encounter (or have already encountered) people that will take lobbies very seriously and will call you out over the mic if you're a shitty player like me, and it's natural to get nervous over this. Or maybe you're just in a very simple match with some people that seem really nice but still, your extreme self awareness won't let you engage in the conversation. That's when you need to start analyzing your thoughts/feelings. Take some time to think.


1- The cliché "it's only a game" it's overused but it does work. It's not like playing it going to pay your taxes or smth.


2- You're allowed to be a bit self-centered here: it doesn't matter if there are people who take lobbies seriously. It's just a lobby. There are no prizes here, nobody is actually loosing anything besides the 1% lift our egos get when we win a match. Honestly, I like to think of lobbies as just some very organized pubs where you get to play with some really skilled people.


3- Think about yourself and think about the people you're talking to. 1 hour later and nobody will actually remember anything of what happened, so what's wrong in chatting a bit?


4- This one might sound rude but it's not!!! supposed!!! to be!!!! (it actually helps me): nobody cares. I mean, most of the time nobody really cares about who they are taking with or how somebody's voice sound like. Everyone has their own personal lives, with their own personal problems. No one really have the time to think much about some random dude they talked with while playing an online game. People won't pay attention to details as you pay attention to them, keep that in mind.


5- (you can skip this one if english is your main language) To foreigners that get nervous about their accent: if you're able to communicate well enough to your teammates understand you, then try not to worry (read what's written above). And if you ever end up facing someone that will mock your english skills, well, tell them to look for a location restricted lobby or smth. It's the internet, ffs. Full of people from everywhere. Do they live in a bubble or smth? It's 2018. Don't ever feel guilty about being a normal person.


And that's basically it. Again, it's what I do, super sorry if it doesn't help you & sorry for any major english mistakes.

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#3 grip



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Posted 26 September 2018 - 06:42 PM

All I can really say is that you have to deal with your fears head on: if you say a few calls once a game, you'll be more comfortable doing it the next time, and even more the time after. And once you become comfortable with your own voice, you'll find it easier to speak. I myself felt pretty worried my first time playing a lobby, even more speaking for the first time in mumble. But after a while, I would say I'm at a lot more ease speaking. What I'm trying to explain is that saying a few things a game will bring you a long way. Hope you manage to deal with your anxiety, bud.

#4 Starlight



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Posted 30 November 2018 - 06:40 AM

Yeah I also get a bit anxious in mumble and sometimes respond a bit slowly to questions. Could be my autism, but who really knows or cares.


Anyways, in competitive TF2 you must be able to speak and make callouts (unless your physically unable to). Unfortunately you will meet certain players in mumble who are less than kind and will say whatever they can just to make you feel like a dirtbag. The only thing you can really do is face these people head on. Personally, I'll either just ignore them, say "sorry I'm still learning", say "fuck off" (if I know they're being overly petty, and no one else will disagree with you on mumble if they are being stupid), or even just "thank you" (sometimes sarcastically).


At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what these COMPETITIVE GAMERS say to you because they can't touch you (and don't let them touch your mind!). The only thing that will happen to you is you'll learn how to play TF2 better and really that's all that counts. Do not fear these COMPETITIVE GAMERS because everyone you'll meet on TF2center was once a newbie too (that's not to say that I'm not a total noob myself!) and therefore any attempt at a put-down is an invalid argument.


So what types of other people are in mumble? About 90% of the lobbies I join have people in mumble who aren't the least bit toxic. Most of the time you'll meet nice people who just want to have a good time. I think you'll find them pretty friendly and approachable, in fact.


It may sound harsh, but at the end of the day it's up to you to charge bravely in to a mumble filled with 5 or 8 other COMPETATIVE GAMERS best of luck and I hope this was of some help to you.

#5 Hoxy


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Posted 01 December 2018 - 07:06 PM

I can't talk upon behalf of what a genuine trans guy feels, as I thought I was FTM too for the longest time until I realised I was not, just a girl with some different issues, but I can talk on how people perceive you in Voice Comms if you state you're FTM.


A vast majority - won't give two shits. However, if you have a childlike voice - some will ask you your gender, which can lead to awkward situations. But 70% will be like "oh ok" if you simply say you're a guy or FTM. Or don't say and just let people perceive you as female, your call here honestly. (Some people may roll their eyes if you're too extra about it...)


There is the fussy bit which will insist on biological sex, and worse, act sexist toward you, but if it gets excessive, you can report this behavior. I do believe you need to be recording the Mumble in order to do this, and share it then on the forums. The admins will do their best to aid you.


I wanted to give my 2c regarding to this topic, as a frequenter I feel I have the most to add toward a genuine experience right now.

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